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Mendacious Minutes by General Secretary Drewitz 

Dan Stong's coup attempt ended abruptly as President Kollasch seized the lectern in the first inning.

Sir Donald?s OT purloined from the acerbic political columnist, George Will: ?The pessimist has the zero sum advantage: You?re mostly right or pleasantly surprised.?

Grammarian Glenn Adams attempted to resolve a personal conflict with his WFTD SANGUINE. He defined it as both dreamily optimistic and bloody. He demonstrated its use: "I dropped my innocent helpless animal murder weapon on my foot causing it to bleed. This bit of prairie justice and the probability it would render me incapable of my next deer homicide caused the targeted deer to be sanguine."

Parliamentarian Mitchell defined quorum as 50% or more members present and able, therefore, to conduct business; monkey or otherwise.

MVP Heim presented the shocking news that Member In Absentia, Mike Siegelman was now, well, a Singelman. Reasons for the marriage dissolution were not disclosed.

MVP Heim?s motion to commit the Cosmo Revote motion and Majority Loses amendment to a committee comprised of Paul Ahern, self professed Electoral College expert and John Drewitz who claimed no detailed knowledge of the Electoral College, failed keeping hopes alive that the candidate who lost the popular vote by 3million could claim to have a mandate and represent the will of the majority.

Mr Dunn?s amendment to dictate the use of EL Leader Maximo when addressing the club president was further amended by GSD to ?Herrn Obergrupenfuhrer?.

OTD were called and an overwhelming majority approved. Our befuddled President was uncertain whether this constituted a win or a loss for the motion.

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